It’s Me – Chapter 25

I turned around

I turned back.

“Still Angela,” I said, “you’re trying to trick me.”

Angela cawed with delight, “well done Freddie.”

I played the game five more times and identified each crow successfully without any more corvine trickery.

“That was fun, young Freddie, we should be heading off soon for a bit of exercise flying around the park before settling down for the night. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will, Sid” I said, “and thank you so much for your help, all of you, you are contributing greatly to my education.”


When I slithered back into the kitchen, I had a surprise.

“Hello Freddie cat, where’ve you been? I saw you with those crows,” said Marika, “you seemed to be getting on well with them.”

My heart skipped a beat, as I had no idea my re-entrance to the property was being monitored by the humans.

I miaowed and I blushed, but as my face is furry, it wasn’t visible to Marika.

“I’ll give you some food, now, Freddie, and then you should go upstairs before we let Gemma loose. She needs to eat and use the litter tray but don’t worry, she will be back on her own for another night. She has to learn her lesson and be more tolerant of other animals.”

I agreed with her completely. Tolerance was not Gemma’s strong suit. In fact, in her paw, she had no tolerance cards, no nice cards, and no happiness cards, it was all nastiness cards. Nastiness was her strong suit.

“Speaking of litter trays, there’s a smell in here,” said Marika, “and I wonder where it’s coming from?” She walked around the kitchen and stopped by the cupboard with my first litter tray on top of it. She wrinkled her nose and her hazel eyes eyed me curiously. I blushed again because I think she suspected me of doing something. She was right, but it wasn’t really my fault. I didn’t know and I improvised. I decided to look cute and hope she decided to feed me. She looked at me again and then walked to the fridge. I positioned myself for the best possible view of the inside. As she opened the door, I craned my neck and saw there were no large fruit inside. That was a relief, no thuggery for at least two more days.

I followed Marika down the stairs with my tail pointing at the ceiling. I have often wondered why my tail follows me around all the time, I don’t do anything so fascinating that warrants its interest, its devotion, but at least it’s there when I need it. Although, the only use it has is to cover my front paws, which is a waste because I like to show my neatness via my front paws and their position. I have now trained my tail to hover above my front paws when I sit down, like a shelf or mantelpiece, emphasizing the paws and drawing attention to their existence and their neatness.

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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