Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 4

Hello Humans:

I hope you’re enjoying your day as much as I’m enjoying mine. I slept in until 3pm and then had breakfast / lunch / early dinner all at the same time. Unfortunately, I vomited it all back when trying to cough up a fur ball. Does this sound like what’s happened to you today?

I’m an obligate carnivore, which means I need meat to survive. However, due to the prison-like conditions I endure, I am only allowed out once or twice a week usually after I’ve eaten so I am no longer hungry.

Humans are not obligate carnivores however some of them haven’t progressed further than cats, because they still eat meat. Billions of people around the world are self-isolating because of this fact. It makes me miaow when I read that humans are more advanced than any other life form and yet some of them still need to see animals like me cut up when alive in front of their eyes, because they like their meat fresh.

I used to pounce on mice but no longer do so. I have moved beyond that. Some humans haven’t due to ‘tradition’ and the rest of humanity is paying the price.

Miaowwwwww for now.

 

 

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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