Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 3

Hello Humans:

I was digging in the back garden this afternoon – I don’t always use the litter tray inside – and I was thinking that humans should start to dig in their gardens too. Unlike me though, they should plant seeds. I have read about this in books. These seeds grow into orange pointy things and small green balls (after they’ve been removed from a shell) and people eat them after putting them in water and making the water froth for a few minutes.

Why not dig up that large green expanse in the garden, I think it’s called a lawn, and plant seeds? Then at least you know where your food has come from and who produced it. No one else has handled the pointed things either, so no danger of catching a nasty virus. You can’t eat grass, so why grow it, only to cut it when it grows too much? I must admit i do eat grass, but only to make me vomit, that’s all it’s good for.

And humans, if you need some help to make your small green balls grow, I can come around and provide some fertiliser free of charge. Now there’s an offer.

Miaowwwwww for now

 

 

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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