Tomcat Tompkins – 49

This novel is something a little different for me. It is a satire set in the UK at the present moment. There are striking parallels between these days and the 1930s. There’s a lot of racist people around who are crawling out of the woodwork as they have been encouraged by the implications of the Brexit vote.


“Well, Ingram,” said Spiffy Wiffy, “what do you make of it all?”

“I am amazed at the detail in the information provided to Mr. Tompkins, here,” replied Ingram, “just like I am amazed at the lack of any information about The Big Whopper Gang, other than a few emails and occasional breathless messages left on our Customer Service Line.”

Tompkins smiled inwardly but just nodded his head as if absorbing Ingram’s words. By the sounds of it, Stalky Stark’s betrayal hadn’t been to the police, just to their East European enemies, unless there was someone else involved.

“Are you able to follow this person soon coming to our shores, Ingram?” asked Spiffy Wiffy appraising Ingram.

“Deputy-Commissioner, it will be an honour to tail this person and see who they meet.”

“Who will you need to help?”

“Well, I was thinking of taking Philpott-Taylor and Hughes-Jones, they’ve shown great promise so far.”

Tompkins slapped his knee – “Great choices, Corky and Welsh Taff would have been my ideal pals on such an adventure.”

“You’ve heard of them?” Ingram asked shaking his head in disbelief.

“They’re the new stars of Scotland Yard, everyone’s heard of them.”

“Well, no, Tomcat, they’ve been working undercover for the last four months, on a major case against home-grown terrorists,” replied Spiffy Wiffy. He held his hand up to reassure Tompkins before saying “It’s alright I know your contacts are almost limitless, so I am not surprised YOU know about them.”

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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