Tomcat Tompkins – 32

This novel is something a little different for me. It is a satire set in the UK at the present moment. There are striking parallels between these days and the 1930s. There’s a lot of racist people around who are crawling out of the woodwork as they have been encouraged by the implications of the Brexit vote.


“You mean to say he’s shagged her so hard he’s killed her, and he’s passed out with the effort of it all.”

“Well, not exactly, because he has never been inside her, though someone has regularly.”

“You’ve had a good look around then?” said Tompkins winking at Ingram.

“All in a day’s work, Mr. Tompkins, talking of which can I see who’s in your house?”

“Come in, although it’s not my house, it’s the house of a friend, who is away at the moment.”

Ingram smiled and stepped through the opened door into the Dining Room, which was now thick with pipe and cigar smoke.

Tompkins introduced his pals to the Inspector through the haze. “There’s Terry, and Toppy, and Sandy, and through the fog I can just about make out Dapper Dan.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tompkins, there’s more mist in here than there is outside – well gentleman, can you please provide your home addresses, in case we need to get in contact with you regarding the strange scene outside.”

“What strange scene would that be?” said Sandy, sliding his card across the table towards the Inspector. Three other cards soon followed it.

“Seems like outside on the path, there’s an unconscious man lying on top of a dead woman, who has her legs wide apart, but no sex has taken place, because the Inspector had a good poke around and found out the facts,” said Tompkins nodding his head at Ingram.

“Is it some kind of artwork, a conceptual artist perhaps, who’s trying to make a name for themselves?” asked Toppy.

“Is she a real woman or one of those mannequins who’s been bent into a certain position?” asked Dapper Dan.

“Would you like a second opinion, Inspector, I am a GP so perhaps I could help?” said Terry.

Published by Julian Worker

I was born in Leicester. I attended school in Yorkshire and University in Liverpool. I have been to 93 countries and territories including The Balkans and Armenia in 2015, France and Slovakia in 2016, and some of the Greek Islands in 2017. My sense of humour is distilled from The Goons, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. I love being creative in my writing and I love writing about travelling. My next books are a travel book about Greece and a novel inspired by Brexit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: