It’s Me – Chapter 27

I stood up and started to look at the books on the top shelf. There was a choice between Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, and three books on Zen Buddhism. The three Buddhist books weren’t there the previous today when I’d fallen asleep on top of Charles and Jane. This showed me that a greater power was at work and that my life as a Buddhist cat was the right path for me to take – the books were coming to me! Having said that, I thought that I should read one of Charles’s books and then one of Jane’s followed by a book on Zen Buddhism. Reading a Buddhist book would allow me to confirm that I was living my life the correct way with respect to my fellow animals, my food, and the environment.

I leapt on to the top of the bookshelf and looked down on Charles’s books. Which one should I choose? I extended a paw to test which of the books would come out the easiest. At this moment, the kitchen door opened and Julian and Marika stood staring at me. Julian was holding Gemma who was wearing a mask over her mouth.

I thought quickly, stood on my back paws, and started swatting the air, a bit like King Kong in the famous film of the 1930s.

“Oh look,” said Julian, “Freddie is trying to swat a fly, make sure you catch it Freddie.”

“Freddie,” said Marika, “look at Gemma, she will be spending one more night on her own and then she will be allowed out. She will be wearing a mask for a week until she learns to behave properly.”

I stopped swatting the air and looked at Gemma who appeared like a feline version of Hannibal Lecter – my knowledge of classic films is quite good for a cat – and I felt sorry for her, even though she was giving me a Sneer Level 6++.

I miaowed and the three of them disappeared into the kitchen. I continued the search for a book and concluded that Hard Times would be the best choice. It would land on the floor and I could then start reading, although another problem had now presented itself. How to replace the book on the bookshelf? Could I carry it in my mouth and drop it on the bookshelf after reading some of it? I would try. Another option would be to paw it under the chair and then start reading the next today.

I was falling asleep and so made myself comfortable on the back of the couch. I would avoid the library for a few days and might even visit Holly the Hamster in the morning before reading in the afternoon. I would see how the mood took me. With that I put my chin on my front paws and was soon in dreamland.

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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