It’s Me – Chapter 23

I scampered down the back stairs, holding my breath due to the smell, and arrived in the children’s section. No offence children, but I’m not interested in your books at the moment. The ground floor was the fiction floor and not really of much interest to me. But I looked anyway, as best I could as there were many people around. The problem was going to be exiting the establishment as there was a queue of people checking out their books.

Eventually, I found a gap on the shelves surrounded by other books. It was the perfect hiding place and allowed me to lurk until the coast was clear. I was 10 yards from the escape doors. I saw the censors as Stan had said and there was even a place where I could jump from on to the pressure pads.

Then events started to go sideways. My perfect hiding place became no longer perfect. A lady took out one of the books making me visible to all and sundry. She looked at me and said: “Hello Kitty, you must be the library cat.” and then walked off to stand in one of the queues at the front desk. I watched her closely as I had a feeling she was the type of person who would mention meeting a cat in the library. I readied myself for a rapid exit. When the woman started talking to the librarian I watched very closely. Of course, the library cat was mentioned and the librarian looked horrified. The woman pointed in my direction and I had to leave. Timing was paramount. As soon as the librarian came to my shelf, I had to leave. Pronto. The moment arrived.

“Where did you say you saw the cat?”

“Just here in the romantic fiction by Barbara Cartland.”

The librarian started pulling books out and I was exposed. I left in a hurry. I jumped on to the censors and then down onto the floor. The doors stayed closed. I did it again with the same result. Behind me someone said:

“Oh look, a cat seems to be trying to open the door by jumping on the pressure pads. How extraordinary.”

I jumped up and down on the ground and started to yowl -mmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaooowwwwwwwwwwww. Then I noticed that jumping on one particular floor tile caused the doors to shudder slightly as though they were thinking about opening. I decided to make their mind up for them. I catapulted onto the censors and then high into the air, before landing with all four paws and a few yowls on the floor tile. The doors opened and I left pursued by the librarians. However, they didn’t get far because Seb and Sid came to my rescue, chattering, squawking, and dive bombing the humans. I sprinted round the side of the library and hid in the undergrowth. It would have been a mistake to lead my pursuers to my new home. The crows were still kicking up a fuss and so no humans came to find me. After 5 minutes, I walked nonchalantly from my hiding place back to my garden. I waited for the crows to find me.

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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