Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 9

Miaow Humans:

This message is about lurking and is intended to help humans lurk with purpose at a time when they have plenty of time to practice. .

The first important thing to say is that lurking is done for a reason. You have to know why you’re lurking otherwise you’re just wasting valuable time when you may as well be asleep, practising being asleep, or using the litter tray.

Lurking needs plenty of practice. To be a successful lurker you have to know why you’re lurking somewhere. Will there be a mouse in the wall in 5 minutes time, will some food fall off someone’s plate, will the door be left open by a careless human so you can get your paw into the gap and escape for a few minutes until they send a posse to find you and haul you back inside? These possibilities have to be seen in advance and that’s why you have to practice.

Practising lurking may well appear to humans as a cat staring off into space.

This is not the case.

We are mulling over the options, trying to harmonise our thinking with the music of the spheres, and meditating on what the future might be both in this universe and in all the parallel universes there are.

This can take time.

You have to see the possibilities and then you can lurk successfully knowing there’s a good chance of some reward.

In my next message, I will provide some tips on how humans can practice their lurking so that you become proficient in a short time.

Miaowwwwwww for now

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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