Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 6

Miaow Humans

The cat-like behaviour is increasing here. The humans are having naps in the afternoon and claiming that this is like the siesta in Spain. No! This is cat behaviour. You don’t become Spanish by staying inside for 3 weeks or by drinking Rioja for breakfast. Sleeping more means you’re becoming more like a cat. Imagine if they’re inside for 3 months, they’ll be growing whiskers.

Unfortunately, there are other areas where their standards are still way below those of a cat and I do worry what they’ll be like when they have to start working in the office again. They’ll have to get dressed in proper clothes instead of loafing around in their pyjamas. They’ll have to comb their hair rather than wearing a hat all day. He’ll have to shave once again, because he now looks like Harrison Ford in the Call of the Wild.

They’ll have to wash more often. I lick my fur everyday and try to inspire them to wash more, but they don’t. They are also losing their daily routines, so that I have no idea when to expect breakfast, morning snack, mid-morning snack, late-morning snack, lunch, early-afternoon snack etc. They just dump a massive pile of food in the plate, which I think indicates a lack of discipline. My lack of discipline is when I try to eat everything and then vomit.

mmmmmiiiiiiiaaaaaooooooowwwwwwww for now.









Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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