Satire – Tomcat Tompkins – 72

“I feel I’ve missed out on part of my life,” she replied, “part of my education, if you like.”

        “Daisy, I don’t believe the interrogation, if you want to call it that, will be worth watching. Miss Scarlett will tease Dimitri into providing information he doesn’t want to provide.”

        “Yes, I want to see what she does, because I feel I could learn something.”

        “Well, Daisy, I won’t stop you. You know where the two-way mirror is for the ‘guest room’. I will let you know when Miss Scarlett arrives.”

        “Thank you, Tomcat, I really appreciate you allowing me to do what I want.”

        “Don’t mention it,” replied Tompkins with a cursory wave of the hand, “any time.”

        “She’s won’t muffle him though, will she?”

        “No, she won’t be doing that, because we need our dear Dimitri to be alive and well in case we have to use him as a bargaining counter with our East European opponents.”

        “Right, well that’s a relief, but I was prepared to watch.”

        “Very brave, very brave,” said Tompkins smiling at her.

        Daisy chuckled and went into the kitchen area to see how Marvin was doing.

        “Have we been able to locate the family of Stalky Stark?” asked Tompkins.

        “We haven’t, but I believe that’s because they’re visiting her family and we don’t know her maiden name,” replied Webster, “we don’t believe the police do either.”

        “I see, yes that would make sense, I was only asking because it will be a shock for her to come home and find that her husband’s dead, as is the au pair, and someone else has died on the premises and the dog’s disappeared.”

        “It will, Tomcat, but it looks like that’s what will happen, as we don’t know where she is. Or the kids.”

        “Wait a moment,” said Toby, “how do we know that his wife and children went away?”

        “Yes, good point,” said Tompkins, “Stalky told me they’d gone away, but he might well have been lying.”

        “Did he in fact have a family? A wife and two children?” asked Toby.

        “Well, yes he did – I spent a lot of time with his family, so he has a wife and two children. Esther was the wife’s name though I never knew her maiden name. The two children were Amber and Ruby, both girls.”

        The doorbell rang. Cuthbert went to answer the door.

        “Daisy,” shouted Tompkins, “that will be Miss Scarlett, you should go to the mirror room in about 10 minutes. I will ask her a few questions first.”

        “Thank you,” replied Daisy from another room.

        Miss Scarlett came into the room wearing a figure-hugging blue dress, a white hat, and dark green shoes.

        “Tomcat, how are you, long time no see,” she said, waving her yellow gloves in Tompkins’s general direction.

        “I am well, thank you,” he replied, “Could I speak to you before you talk to our friend Dimitri?”

        “Yes, you can, Tomcat, now what is it you want to talk about?”

        “We should just come through here,” replied Tompkins, pointing to the Lounge area.

        “Oh, I do like the decor in here,” said Miss Scarlett, “the orange cushions on the green sofa and the yellow wallpaper with the light-blue curtains. All colourful and fun.”

        “Yes, well you mentioned fun. I was wondering whether you know anything about the recent, sad demises of our friends Spinky Mills and Dapper Dan Heaton-Hall?”

        Miss Scarlett looked straight at Tompkins and betrayed no nerves when she said, “I had no idea that those two fine gentlemen had passed away – were they killed in the same manner as Stalky Stark?”

Published by Julian Worker

I was born in Leicester. I attended school in Yorkshire and University in Liverpool. I have been to 93 countries and territories including The Balkans and Armenia in 2015, France and Slovakia in 2016, and some of the Greek Islands in 2017. My sense of humour is distilled from The Goons, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. I love being creative in my writing and I love writing about travelling. My next books are a travel book about Greece and a novel inspired by Brexit.

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