Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.


The other important rule is that the bowl must roll along the ground at all times after it has been delivered; no aerial bombardments are allowed as in petanque. The main reason for this is to prevent damage to the cricket pitch although the local spinners would welcome this extra wear on the surface. Any bowler disobeying this rule is given a warning and if they re-commit the same offence their team is penalized a point.

The Bangladeshi champions are the Rocketman, a team who used to work on the ferries in Bangladesh but now play Bocket full time in the Indian sub-continent. Their captain is Iqbal Qasim: “Yes, we went from Rockets to Bocket. We started to play Bocket while we were waiting for the ferries to fill up with people – not on a cricket pitch but just in the field by the jetty; we think we are good because we have a steady hand under pressure and don’t panic; we are also lucky because our third bowler Masood used to be a groundsman and so he can read the borrows and subtleties in the pitch before we start to play. It is not like a bowls green where the grass grows in one direction and everything is flat – cricket pitches have many undulations and cracks.”