Satire – Tomcat Tompkins – 123

“They’re hanging out at a gate about three miles away, you might ask the ambulance to stop off there, as I think concussion has paid a visit there too,” replied Filly who was still fuming. The Reverend Green emitted a slight gurgle and lay flat on the floor. “Better make them send two ambulances asContinue reading “Satire – Tomcat Tompkins – 123”

Mad Paddling – 6

Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up. =========== The final event of the regatta is the Blue Riband event – the two mile individual kayak race using a table tennis bat. Jim Erikson has won this race 4Continue reading “Mad Paddling – 6”

World Shuttlecock Accuracy Championships – 1

Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up. ==== The sport of badminton is incredibly popular in Indonesia with tens of thousands of participants in contests and competitions each year. Teams from Indonesia have won many international events suchContinue reading “World Shuttlecock Accuracy Championships – 1”

Tomcat Tompkins – Chapter 3

Tomcat opened the car door, leapt out, and did 50 press-ups on the pavement, just to get the stiffness out of his back and neck. Having completed these, he jumped over the garden gate and slammed his large hand against the black-painted front door of the house a few times. The birds stopped singing andContinue reading “Tomcat Tompkins – Chapter 3”

Tomcat Tompkins – Chapter 1

I have written a novel about a Bulldog Drummond type character, but set it in the modern day of Brexit and right-wing racism. I am not sure if it will work, perhaps you could let me know? “Oh pish, fish, wish, bish, gish, lish, mish, and tish,” said Tomcat Tompkins, “I seem to have slammedContinue reading “Tomcat Tompkins – Chapter 1”

Goat Parva Murders – Chapter 5

Carol Herald was in position early for her morning thrills; this morning it was going to be Lord Avon and his stable lad cavorting in the ferns in Hen’s Wood. Lord Avon would sit astride the youth and then whip him quite savagely as he bucked and pranced in imitation of a bull – itContinue reading “Goat Parva Murders – Chapter 5”

Head in the Clouds – Chapter 1

Sheila Walker sat at her desk in an office cubicle surrounded on three sides by her colleagues. On the fourth side was a common corridor which was mainly used by people when they were hurrying off to begin private phone conversations. Sheila had worked for the same firm since leaving secondary school in 1996. “At leastContinue reading “Head in the Clouds – Chapter 1”

Goat Parva Murders – Chapter 1

The stalker trained his binoculars on the ground floor lounge window where Danica Baker-Clements could be seen in her underwear watching TV. Danica’s blonde hair tumbled over artificially brown shoulders and the rhododendron branches twitched as the binoculars moved slowly over her complete loveliness. An owl screeched in the trees behind the stalker – theContinue reading “Goat Parva Murders – Chapter 1”

Country and Western Singing Contest

The singing of sad songs has been associated with Morecambe in Lancashire for hundreds of years. These dirges were usually sung when someone had been drowned in the dangerous waters of Morecambe Bay. These songs were sung so frequently that a competition was organized to see who could sing the saddest song of all. This contest reached its zenithContinue reading “Country and Western Singing Contest”

The Frisby Waterless Murders

“You’re telling me people pay to investigate the murder of someone who’s not actually dead? People pay to play at being us? For fun?” Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes smiled at the incredulity in the voice of his boss, Colin Knowles. Barnes thought Knowles must have led a sheltered life if he’d never heard of murder/mysteryContinue reading “The Frisby Waterless Murders”