Manton Rempville – 3

This is my second homage to the detective story. I’ve always loved mystery stories by Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Dorothy L Sayers. I watched many DVDs of detective series from the UK and this was the spark to start the creative process. I have tried to add some humour into the book. The Manton Rempville Murders is the second in the Inspector Knowles Mysteries and reacquaints the reader with Knowles and his Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes, who were first introduced in The Goat Parva Murders.

==========   

Barnes and Knowles drove their individual vehicles back to Goat Parva and parked outside The Cottage, the residence of Adelaide Hills and her retriever Bingo.

            “Well here we go again, sir,” said Barnes as he knocked on the door and heard the mad barking of Bingo inside.

            “Bingo is in fine voice today, oh how I have missed those desperate notes of happiness from our favourite retriever,” replied Knowles, “give me a cat any second of the day.”

            “And how is Gemma?”

            “I’ve bought her a male friend from the animal shelter in Madeley. His name is Freddie and he knows who’s boss in our house. He tried to pick a fight with Gemma on his second day in residence and he won’t be doing that again. She has a mean straight right and it scratched his nose quite badly. He was so upset; he hides behind me whenever he can…oh here she is.”

            Adelaide Hills opened the door and smiled at the two officers.

            “Sergeant Barnes and Inspector Knowles, what a pleasant surprise, I rather thought we’d never meet like this again, but how wrong I was.”

            “Well, we thought the same thing, but Bingo has a nose for a dead body, ” grinned Barnes.

            “You won’t be having me followed on my morning walks will you, Inspector Knowles?”

            “Not yet, Adelaide, not yet. Could we come in it’s a bit cold out here?”

            “Of course, where are my manners – Bingo stop there and allow these two gentlemen to pass by.”

            Bingo withdrew slightly, but eyed the shoes of the two policemen with great suspicion.

            Knowles and Barnes sat on Adelaide Hills’s settee in her living room and declined her offer of a cup of tea.

            Barnes began: “Adelaide, you and Bingo were walking this morning near Manton Rempville when something quite familiar happened.”

            “Yes, Sergeant, Bingo started barking when we walking through the monastery grounds and straining at his leash and I followed him into the refectory where we saw that man who had been stabbed with the sword.”

            “Did Bingo take anything?

“No, he was on a tight leash, and I have learnt my lesson. I phoned you from the scene of the crime and waited until your local constable arrived from Norton-juxta-Wychwood and then went home. Bingo didn’t pick up anything from the scene and didn’t take any clothing.”

            “Things are improving – now did you see anyone in the area of the monastery, Adelaide?”

            “I did Sergeant, there were three young men horsing around as they walked through the trees away from me towards Manton Rempville Hall and also a youngish couple sitting on a fence by the monastery car park having an animated discussion. There were no vehicles in the car park, so I presume they’d walked there too. I also heard an older couple arguing about some money related subject, wills etc when I was walking back here after the constable had arrived.”

            “And how old were the young men and the youngish couple would you say?”

            “The young men were around 20 and the youngish couple were slightly older, say around 25, but no older than that.”

            “When you say the young men were horsing around – what were they doing?”

            “They were fooling around, pretending they had swords and fighting each other.”

            “That’s a very strange coincidence, isn’t it?”

            “I suppose so, Inspector, but could their horse-play and the murderer’s modus operandi be connected, do you think?”

            “We’ll be heading to the big hall later on today, so we’ll find out who you saw and why they were acting in that manner.”

            “Well I hope I have been of help, Inspector, and do call again if you need to ask any more questions.”

            “We will certainly do that, Adelaide, thank you.”

            As the two policemen left, Bingo looked rather sad. Neither of the two men had patted him on the head as they passed him. He must have done something wrong again.

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing mysteries and thrillers, especially on topics close to my heart. A list of my books, both about travel and other subjects, can be found here.

40 Humourous Traditions

England has many strange, yet real, traditions such as
  • Bog Snorkelling, 
  • Bonfire Night, 
  • Cheese Rolling
  • Haxey Hood.
For less than $1 you can read This book  which describes 40 made-up traditions in a similar vein to the real ones.
All the stories are distinct and can be read independently; this is a book for the busy individual who has a spare five or ten minutes to discover the secrets of Biscuit Rolling.
If you like any of the following authors, this book is for you: 
Terry Pratchett
David Sedaris
Kate Forrester
Ken Follett
Janet Evanovich
Kevin Wilson
Neil Gaiman
Excerpt: Cat Chasing from Barton-in-the-Beans:

Barton-in-the-Beans is a village in the county of Leicestershire in the heart of England. In the Middle Ages it was believed that there were more cats in the village than in any other village or town in the country. This could only mean one thing in those times: witches.  Lots of them.

            There was no lake near the village. The local chalk soil drained easily so even after heavy rain no large puddles formed. Thus deprived of his best known method of determining who was a witch, the local Witchfinder-General Roger Boydell hit upon a novel method for searching out the local witches. 

            He determined that witches are very attached to their cats; at the equinoxes and the solstices he told his henchmen to round up all the village cats and place them into a large pen. At his signal, a man would allow three of the creatures to escape from the pen. These cats would be chased by the Witchfinder-General’s fitter cronies around the village. If any woman chased after the man chasing her cat, especially on a broomstick, she was determined to be a witch and sent off to Leicester for burning on the High Cross.

            This tradition lasted for 400 years, comfortably outlasting the role of Witchfinder-General by over 300 years. In the mid-20th Century, as people became aware of diets and exercise, it was noticed that the cats of Barton-in-the-Beans were the leanest, fittest, and most athletic cats in the whole county.

            Gradually from all over the country owners of fat, unfit, and lazy cats brought their animals to the quarterly cat-chasing extravaganza. However, some of these owners refused to chase their cat through the village and both owner and cat were sent packing.

            Other owners forgot their witch costumes and were disqualified. Distracted by the local mice population in the surrounding fields, some cats were lost forever. Sadly, some owners were as unfit as their animals and finished up at Leicester’s High Cross hospital.

            The Barton-in-the-Beans Cat Chasing is Leicestershire’s largest group event and is held four times a year with around 500 cats participating over a long weekend. The sponsors of the event include Which? magazine and the Egyptian Embassy.  

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing creatively especially about subjects such as British traditions, where my made-up traditions are no less ridiculous than the real thing. A list of my books, both fictional and factual (about travel), can be found here.

Manton Rempville – 3

This is my second homage to the detective story. I’ve always loved mystery stories by Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Dorothy L Sayers. I watched many DVDs of detective series from the UK and this was the spark to start the creative process. I have tried to add some humour into the book. The Manton Rempville Murders is the second in the Inspector Knowles Mysteries and reacquaints the reader with Knowles and his Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes, who were first introduced in The Goat Parva Murders.

==========   

Barnes and Knowles drove their individual vehicles back to Goat Parva and parked outside The Cottage, the residence of Adelaide Hills and her retriever Bingo.

            “Well here we go again, sir,” said Barnes as he knocked on the door and heard the mad barking of Bingo inside.

            “Bingo is in fine voice today, oh how I have missed those desperate notes of happiness from our favourite retriever,” replied Knowles, “give me a cat any second of the day.”

            “And how is Gemma?”

            “I’ve bought her a male friend from the animal shelter in Madeley. His name is Freddie and he knows who’s boss in our house. He tried to pick a fight with Gemma on his second day in residence and he won’t be doing that again. She has a mean straight right and it scratched his nose quite badly. He was so upset; he hides behind me whenever he can…oh here she is.”

            Adelaide Hills opened the door and smiled at the two officers.

            “Sergeant Barnes and Inspector Knowles, what a pleasant surprise, I rather thought we’d never meet like this again, but how wrong I was.”

            “Well, we thought the same thing, but Bingo has a nose for a dead body, ” grinned Barnes.

            “You won’t be having me followed on my morning walks will you, Inspector Knowles?”

            “Not yet, Adelaide, not yet. Could we come in it’s a bit cold out here?”

            “Of course, where are my manners – Bingo stop there and allow these two gentlemen to pass by.”

            Bingo withdrew slightly, but eyed the shoes of the two policemen with great suspicion.

            Knowles and Barnes sat on Adelaide Hills’s settee in her living room and declined her offer of a cup of tea.

            Barnes began: “Adelaide, you and Bingo were walking this morning near Manton Rempville when something quite familiar happened.”

            “Yes, Sergeant, Bingo started barking when we walking through the monastery grounds and straining at his leash and I followed him into the refectory where we saw that man who had been stabbed with the sword.”

            “Did Bingo take anything?

“No, he was on a tight leash, and I have learnt my lesson. I phoned you from the scene of the crime and waited until your local constable arrived from Norton-juxta-Wychwood and then went home. Bingo didn’t pick up anything from the scene and didn’t take any clothing.”

            “Things are improving – now did you see anyone in the area of the monastery, Adelaide?”

            “I did Sergeant, there were three young men horsing around as they walked through the trees away from me towards Manton Rempville Hall and also a youngish couple sitting on a fence by the monastery car park having an animated discussion. There were no vehicles in the car park, so I presume they’d walked there too. I also heard an older couple arguing about some money related subject, wills etc when I was walking back here after the constable had arrived.”

            “And how old were the young men and the youngish couple would you say?”

            “The young men were around 20 and the youngish couple were slightly older, say around 25, but no older than that.”

            “When you say the young men were horsing around – what were they doing?”

            “They were fooling around, pretending they had swords and fighting each other.”

            “That’s a very strange coincidence, isn’t it?”

            “I suppose so, Inspector, but could their horse-play and the murderer’s modus operandi be connected, do you think?”

            “We’ll be heading to the big hall later on today, so we’ll find out who you saw and why they were acting in that manner.”

            “Well I hope I have been of help, Inspector, and do call again if you need to ask any more questions.”

            “We will certainly do that, Adelaide, thank you.”

            As the two policemen left, Bingo looked rather sad. Neither of the two men had patted him on the head as they passed him. He must have done something wrong again.

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing mysteries and thrillers, especially on topics close to my heart. A list of my books, both about travel and other subjects, can be found here.

British Traditions

England has many strange, yet real, traditions such as
  • Bog Snorkelling, 
  • Bonfire Night, 
  • Cheese Rolling
  • Haxey Hood.
For less than $1 you can read This book  which describes 40 made-up traditions in a similar vein to the real ones.
All the stories are distinct and can be read independently; this is a book for the busy individual who has a spare five or ten minutes to discover the secrets of Biscuit Rolling.
If you like any of the following authors, this book is for you: 
Terry Pratchett
David Sedaris
Kate Forrester
Ken Follett
Janet Evanovich
Kevin Wilson
Neil Gaiman
Excerpt: Cat Chasing from Barton-in-the-Beans:

Barton-in-the-Beans is a village in the county of Leicestershire in the heart of England. In the Middle Ages it was believed that there were more cats in the village than in any other village or town in the country. This could only mean one thing in those times: witches.  Lots of them.

            There was no lake near the village. The local chalk soil drained easily so even after heavy rain no large puddles formed. Thus deprived of his best known method of determining who was a witch, the local Witchfinder-General Roger Boydell hit upon a novel method for searching out the local witches. 

            He determined that witches are very attached to their cats; at the equinoxes and the solstices he told his henchmen to round up all the village cats and place them into a large pen. At his signal, a man would allow three of the creatures to escape from the pen. These cats would be chased by the Witchfinder-General’s fitter cronies around the village. If any woman chased after the man chasing her cat, especially on a broomstick, she was determined to be a witch and sent off to Leicester for burning on the High Cross.

            This tradition lasted for 400 years, comfortably outlasting the role of Witchfinder-General by over 300 years. In the mid-20th Century, as people became aware of diets and exercise, it was noticed that the cats of Barton-in-the-Beans were the leanest, fittest, and most athletic cats in the whole county.

            Gradually from all over the country owners of fat, unfit, and lazy cats brought their animals to the quarterly cat-chasing extravaganza. However, some of these owners refused to chase their cat through the village and both owner and cat were sent packing.

            Other owners forgot their witch costumes and were disqualified. Distracted by the local mice population in the surrounding fields, some cats were lost forever. Sadly, some owners were as unfit as their animals and finished up at Leicester’s High Cross hospital.

            The Barton-in-the-Beans Cat Chasing is Leicestershire’s largest group event and is held four times a year with around 500 cats participating over a long weekend. The sponsors of the event include Which? magazine and the Egyptian Embassy.  

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing creatively especially about subjects such as British traditions, where my made-up traditions are no less ridiculous than the real thing. A list of my books, both fictional and factual (about travel), can be found here.

Manton Rempville – 3

This is my second homage to the detective story. I’ve always loved mystery stories by Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Dorothy L Sayers. I watched many DVDs of detective series from the UK and this was the spark to start the creative process. I have tried to add some humour into the book. The Manton Rempville Murders is the second in the Inspector Knowles Mysteries and reacquaints the reader with Knowles and his Detective Sergeant Rod Barnes, who were first introduced in The Goat Parva Murders.

==========   

Barnes and Knowles drove their individual vehicles back to Goat Parva and parked outside The Cottage, the residence of Adelaide Hills and her retriever Bingo.

            “Well here we go again, sir,” said Barnes as he knocked on the door and heard the mad barking of Bingo inside.

            “Bingo is in fine voice today, oh how I have missed those desperate notes of happiness from our favourite retriever,” replied Knowles, “give me a cat any second of the day.”

            “And how is Gemma?”

            “I’ve bought her a male friend from the animal shelter in Madeley. His name is Freddie and he knows who’s boss in our house. He tried to pick a fight with Gemma on his second day in residence and he won’t be doing that again. She has a mean straight right and it scratched his nose quite badly. He was so upset; he hides behind me whenever he can…oh here she is.”

            Adelaide Hills opened the door and smiled at the two officers.

            “Sergeant Barnes and Inspector Knowles, what a pleasant surprise, I rather thought we’d never meet like this again, but how wrong I was.”

            “Well, we thought the same thing, but Bingo has a nose for a dead body, ” grinned Barnes.

            “You won’t be having me followed on my morning walks will you, Inspector Knowles?”

            “Not yet, Adelaide, not yet. Could we come in it’s a bit cold out here?”

            “Of course, where are my manners – Bingo stop there and allow these two gentlemen to pass by.”

            Bingo withdrew slightly, but eyed the shoes of the two policemen with great suspicion.

            Knowles and Barnes sat on Adelaide Hills’s settee in her living room and declined her offer of a cup of tea.

            Barnes began: “Adelaide, you and Bingo were walking this morning near Manton Rempville when something quite familiar happened.”

            “Yes, Sergeant, Bingo started barking when we walking through the monastery grounds and straining at his leash and I followed him into the refectory where we saw that man who had been stabbed with the sword.”

            “Did Bingo take anything?

“No, he was on a tight leash, and I have learnt my lesson. I phoned you from the scene of the crime and waited until your local constable arrived from Norton-juxta-Wychwood and then went home. Bingo didn’t pick up anything from the scene and didn’t take any clothing.”

            “Things are improving – now did you see anyone in the area of the monastery, Adelaide?”

            “I did Sergeant, there were three young men horsing around as they walked through the trees away from me towards Manton Rempville Hall and also a youngish couple sitting on a fence by the monastery car park having an animated discussion. There were no vehicles in the car park, so I presume they’d walked there too. I also heard an older couple arguing about some money related subject, wills etc when I was walking back here after the constable had arrived.”

            “And how old were the young men and the youngish couple would you say?”

            “The young men were around 20 and the youngish couple were slightly older, say around 25, but no older than that.”

            “When you say the young men were horsing around – what were they doing?”

            “They were fooling around, pretending they had swords and fighting each other.”

            “That’s a very strange coincidence, isn’t it?”

            “I suppose so, Inspector, but could their horse-play and the murderer’s modus operandi be connected, do you think?”

            “We’ll be heading to the big hall later on today, so we’ll find out who you saw and why they were acting in that manner.”

            “Well I hope I have been of help, Inspector, and do call again if you need to ask any more questions.”

            “We will certainly do that, Adelaide, thank you.”

            As the two policemen left, Bingo looked rather sad. Neither of the two men had patted him on the head as they passed him. He must have done something wrong again.

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing mysteries and thrillers, especially on topics close to my heart. A list of my books, both about travel and other subjects, can be found here.

Brit Traditions

England has many strange, yet real, traditions such as
  • Bog Snorkelling, 
  • Bonfire Night, 
  • Cheese Rolling
  • Haxey Hood.
For less than $1 you can read This book  which describes 40 made-up traditions in a similar vein to the real ones.
All the stories are distinct and can be read independently; this is a book for the busy individual who has a spare five or ten minutes to discover the secrets of Biscuit Rolling.
If you like any of the following authors, this book is for you: 
Terry Pratchett
David Sedaris
Kate Forrester
Ken Follett
Janet Evanovich
Kevin Wilson
Neil Gaiman
Excerpt: Cat Chasing from Barton-in-the-Beans:

Barton-in-the-Beans is a village in the county of Leicestershire in the heart of England. In the Middle Ages it was believed that there were more cats in the village than in any other village or town in the country. This could only mean one thing in those times: witches.  Lots of them.

            There was no lake near the village. The local chalk soil drained easily so even after heavy rain no large puddles formed. Thus deprived of his best known method of determining who was a witch, the local Witchfinder-General Roger Boydell hit upon a novel method for searching out the local witches. 

            He determined that witches are very attached to their cats; at the equinoxes and the solstices he told his henchmen to round up all the village cats and place them into a large pen. At his signal, a man would allow three of the creatures to escape from the pen. These cats would be chased by the Witchfinder-General’s fitter cronies around the village. If any woman chased after the man chasing her cat, especially on a broomstick, she was determined to be a witch and sent off to Leicester for burning on the High Cross.

            This tradition lasted for 400 years, comfortably outlasting the role of Witchfinder-General by over 300 years. In the mid-20th Century, as people became aware of diets and exercise, it was noticed that the cats of Barton-in-the-Beans were the leanest, fittest, and most athletic cats in the whole county.

            Gradually from all over the country owners of fat, unfit, and lazy cats brought their animals to the quarterly cat-chasing extravaganza. However, some of these owners refused to chase their cat through the village and both owner and cat were sent packing.

            Other owners forgot their witch costumes and were disqualified. Distracted by the local mice population in the surrounding fields, some cats were lost forever. Sadly, some owners were as unfit as their animals and finished up at Leicester’s High Cross hospital.

            The Barton-in-the-Beans Cat Chasing is Leicestershire’s largest group event and is held four times a year with around 500 cats participating over a long weekend. The sponsors of the event include Which? magazine and the Egyptian Embassy.  

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing creatively especially about subjects such as British traditions, where my made-up traditions are no less ridiculous than the real thing. A list of my books, both fictional and factual (about travel), can be found here.

Fictional Sports

Sports YOU should know more about.

This book describes 40 fictional sports including:

  • The Dracula Race in Romania. Here contestants have to run around Sighisoara before cycling to Bran Castle and cook kebabs on the way.
  • Mongol Vegetable Chopping from Russia. Participants have to chop vegetables whilst riding along on horseback.
  • Curling Pool from the USA. Here the players have to score points, by trying to ricochet their curling stones into depressions in the ice.

All the stories are individual and distinct and can be read independently if necessary; a book for the busy individual who perhaps has five minutes to spare to understand the complexities of Bull Pulling or Unicycle Volleyball.

The book is on NetGalley, so you can download it and enjoy reading it for free, though I would appreciate it if you could leave an honest evaluation of the book on NetGalley.

40 Humourous British Traditions

England has many strange, yet real, traditions such as
  • Bog Snorkelling, 
  • Bonfire Night, 
  • Cheese Rolling
  • Haxey Hood.
For less than $1 you can read This book  which describes 40 made-up traditions in a similar vein to the real ones.
All the stories are distinct and can be read independently; this is a book for the busy individual who has a spare five or ten minutes to discover the secrets of Biscuit Rolling.
If you like any of the following authors, this book is for you: 
Terry Pratchett
David Sedaris
Kate Forrester
Ken Follett
Janet Evanovich
Kevin Wilson
Neil Gaiman
Excerpt from Animal Gambling:

Barton-in-the-Beans is a village in the county of Leicestershire in the heart of England. In the Middle Ages it was believed that there were more cats in the village than in any other village or town in the country. This could only mean one thing in those times: witches.  Lots of them.

            There was no lake near the village. The local chalk soil drained easily so even after heavy rain no large puddles formed. Thus deprived of his best known method of determining who was a witch, the local Witchfinder-General Roger Boydell hit upon a novel method for searching out the local witches. 

            He determined that witches are very attached to their cats; at the equinoxes and the solstices he told his henchmen to round up all the village cats and place them into a large pen. At his signal, a man would allow three of the creatures to escape from the pen. These cats would be chased by the Witchfinder-General’s fitter cronies around the village. If any woman chased after the man chasing her cat, especially on a broomstick, she was determined to be a witch and sent off to Leicester for burning on the High Cross.

            This tradition lasted for 400 years, comfortably outlasting the role of Witchfinder-General by over 300 years. In the mid-20th Century, as people became aware of diets and exercise, it was noticed that the cats of Barton-in-the-Beans were the leanest, fittest, and most athletic cats in the whole county.

            Gradually from all over the country owners of fat, unfit, and lazy cats brought their animals to the quarterly cat-chasing extravaganza. However, some of these owners refused to chase their cat through the village and both owner and cat were sent packing.

            Other owners forgot their witch costumes and were disqualified. Distracted by the local mice population in the surrounding fields, some cats were lost forever. Sadly, some owners were as unfit as their animals and finished up at Leicester’s High Cross hospital.

            The Barton-in-the-Beans Cat Chasing is Leicestershire’s largest group event and is held four times a year with around 500 cats participating over a long weekend. The sponsors of the event include Which? magazine and the Egyptian Embassy.  

Bio: I am a writer. I love writing creatively especially about subjects such as British traditions, where my made-up traditions are no less ridiculous than the real thing. A list of my books, both fictional and factual (about travel), can be found here.

40 Fictional Sports

Sports YOU should know more about.

This book describes 40 fictional sports including:

  • The Dracula Race in Romania. Here contestants have to run around Sighisoara before cycling to Bran Castle and cook kebabs on the way.
  • Mongol Vegetable Chopping from Russia. Participants have to chop vegetables whilst riding along on horseback.
  • Curling Pool from the USA. Here the players have to score points, by trying to ricochet their curling stones into depressions in the ice.

All the stories are individual and distinct and can be read independently if necessary; a book for the busy individual who perhaps has five minutes to spare to understand the complexities of Bull Pulling or Unicycle Volleyball.

The book is on NetGalley, so you can download it and enjoy reading it for free, though I would appreciate it if you could leave an honest evaluation of the book on NetGalley.

Sports the Olympics Forgot

Sports YOU should know more about.

This book describes 40 fictional sports including:

  • The Dracula Race in Romania. Here contestants have to run around Sighisoara before cycling to Bran Castle and cook kebabs on the way.
  • Mongol Vegetable Chopping from Russia. Participants have to chop vegetables whilst riding along on horseback.
  • Curling Pool from the USA. Here the players have to score points, by trying to ricochet their curling stones into depressions in the ice.

All the stories are individual and distinct and can be read independently if necessary; a book for the busy individual who perhaps has five minutes to spare to understand the complexities of Bull Pulling or Unicycle Volleyball.

The book is on NetGalley, so you can download it and enjoy reading it for free, though I would appreciate it if you could leave an honest evaluation of the book on NetGalley.