Our Cats in Amsterdam – Part 1

…then there was Our Cats in Amsterdam – Freddie and Gemma have been recruited to help Europol in Amsterdam.

“Can I have some books, please?” I ask politely, “a nice variety of books, fiction, geography, comedies, business, that sort of thing.”

“Yes, we’ve heard you’re a devoted reader, Freddie,” says Arabella, “so that’s all arranged.”

“Good,” I reply, “and no Virginia Woolf or Joseph Conrad, as they’re not my favourites. Perhaps Brave New World as we’re going to be going on an adventure?”

“We’ll surprise you, Freddie,” says Aubrey, smiling, “you’ll have more books than you can possibly read.”

“I can read too,” says Gemma, “though I prefer military books myself, not the sort of books that Freddie enjoys reading.”

“You mean Sven Hassel?” asks Arabella.

“No, factual books about convoys across the Atlantic during WWII or about the Battle of Stalingrad, that sort of thing. Or about ancient battles such as Thermopylae, where the traitor Ephialtes of Trachis betrayed those brave Spartans.”

Aubrey looks at Arabella and nods his head.

“OK, factual military books for Gemma.”

“Yes, the more facts the better,” says Gemma. “Frederick doesn’t like facts as much as I do. He prefers fiction, though I must admit I’d like to read some George Orwell, and it doesn’t have to be 1984 or Animal Farm.”

“Well, that’s everything for now,” says Arabella, “it was wonderful to meet you and we’ll see you after you get back for a debrief. Mrs Elkins will be your cat sitter. She’ll share the details of your itinerary with you when she arrives.”

“How will we get to the destination?” I ask.

“Most of the time will be spent in cat carriers, but your minders will try to let you out on the train from London, if there are few humans around,” says Aubrey.

“I’m sure we’ll pretend to be asleep most of the time,” says Gemma, “especially when we’re in The Channel Tunnel and there’s not much to see. Can we make sure there are no dogs? I don’t like dogs. They’re so gullible and easily led.”

“The train sounds like a good time to meditate,” I say. “I’m looking forward to that already.”

“Right, we should go,” says Aubrey, “Good luck on your trip and Mrs Elkins will be here in two days. We’ll refer to you as our cats in Amsterdam.”

Aubrey and Arabella fly off. Rufus heads down from his tree and jumps onto the fence.

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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