Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 21

Hello Humanity:

I am dismayed. If you read my diary entry for some day just gone, you would know that my humans were watching videos of cats doing unnecessary things such as walking on walls, using their claws to move along iron screens, and running through fields of playing cards without touching any of them.

I was in a dilemma. Do I do something similar to impress them or do I ignore the videos and pretend that sort of thing is what cats do just for entertainment? I was stretching this morning when I suddenly decided I would try and do something to impress the humans. I looked around and only saw one item I could use to emulate the cats in the video.

The front-room curtains extend to the ceiling and I thought if I climbed them, then I could leap on to the top of the bookcase and look pleased with myself.  Well, I didn’t get as far as the bookcase. I was using my claws to climb the curtains and I was pulling small loops of material out of the curtains each time I climbed higher.

The female human saw me and shouted: “Naughty cat, get down from there immediately, you’re ruining the curtains.” Well I tried to jump off, but one of my claws caught in the material and tore a strip out of it. That never happened in the video. I was scolded and hid behind the fridge where they couldn’t reach me.

It was their fault for making me watch the video and my fault for not choosing an easier option such as running through a field of dominoes, although my humans don’t own dominoes so that would have been impossible to achieve.

Miaow for now…







Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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