Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 20

Hello Humanity:

I am feeling upset and disappointed with my fellow cats. You may ask why. Well, I was resting on the sofa when my humans were watching some amusing cat videos to help pass the time on the 45th day of their exile from the outside world. I kept one eye on the screen of their computer and it was appalling.

Some owners put their cat’s beds in the ceiling so that the cats had to leap around on the walls to reach them. But the cats did it! That’s terrible, that’s being a traitor to catkind. We  shouldn’t pander to human cruelty, the cats should have gone and occupied the nearest cushion as a protest.

Another cat opened a door on its own, rather than sitting by the door and miaowing out loud until the human opened it for them. We have to treat them like servants otherwise they will be getting ideas above their station.

Another cat ran through a field of dominoes without touching any of them! What kind of behaviour is that? A real cat would have done the proper thing and swatted the dominoes all around the room as a protest against the silly humans who had blocked their path with pieces from a game.

Cat behaviour is changing and I think it’s because humans are adopting a cat-like lifestyle so some cats think they have to change their behaviour to maintain the distance between cat and human behaviour.

This is a worry for me. Miaowwwwwwwwww for now.



Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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