Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 19

Hello Humans:

I hope you’re doing well in these trying times. What I’m trying to do with my time is encourage the humans in my house to stretch more. Whenever I see them coming, I stretch my paws out in front of me as an example of how to do it, but I am miaowing up the wrong tree because I am ignored. And then they complain that they’re stiff and have aches and pains because they can’t go outside, the poor things.

Talking of stretching, they’re also putting on weight because they’re wearing ‘leisure gear’ all the time which stretches as their stomachs expand. When the humans go back to work, the next epidemic will be of broken zips and buttons flying off garments. Serves them right for letting their standards slip. I only wish I could sew because I would make myself useful and comes to their rescue. Instead I will miaow quietly to myself and practice being asleep.

Apparently, this pandemic has led to pandemonium in the stock markets. People don’t have as much money as they used to have, but no one has stolen it, it’s just gone away. This has made some people very sad. I say that you shouldn’t be reliant for your happiness on other things. True happiness comes from within. Or from watching a cat video.

Miaoowwwwww for now.

 

 

 

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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