Cat Coronavirus Diary – Day 14

Hello Humans:

My understanding is that humans are baking their own bread rather than buying it in plastic bags from large shops owned by wealthy people. It seems some humans are better bakers than other, so I am willing to come around to your house and test the bread for you. There’s an offer and I promise not to eat more than half the bread. I will even eat it outside your abode, so there’s no mess inside your home should the bread prove not to be palatable.

Other popular items with hoarders include tofu and soap. I must admit these taste very similar to me. The tofu is bouncy and hard to pin down. It squirts from under my paw and makes a mess. Soap on the other paw is hard but it is possible to bite off small pieces and chew them though the taste isn’t always nice. I prefer lavender soap to any other though it does make my breath sweet, which is not what I want.

The most trouble I can get into right now is by going into the bathroom and playing with the toilet rolls, especially if I place my paws on the roll on the wall and move all the paper onto the floor. This is a favourite hobby of mine, but it’s making me a bad cat because toilet rolls are hard to find out there in the real world. Miaow out loud! Isn’t the world odd right now?

Miaowwwwwww for now

 

 

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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