The Frisby Waterless Murders – 2

Excerpt from the book called The Frisby Waterless Murders

“Are we there yet? Can’t this thing go any faster Sergeant?” Knowles hoped the irony wouldn’t be lost on Barnes.


“It can, sir, Morgan’s can go up to 170 miles per hour, but this one has an electronically controlled top speed of 148 mph, so we’re only halfway there at the moment.” Barnes smiled as he knew Knowles’s Land Rover had a top speed only slightly higher than the rate they were currently travelling at.


“So – let me get this straight,” said Knowles, realising that Barnes was enjoying himself breaking the speed limit on police business, “we’re going to investigate a situation where the wrong person has ended up dead and we have to work out who did it?”


“That’s correct, Inspector, and we don’t have to pay for the privilege either, so we are going to encounter some resistance in this situation. There will be around a dozen amateur sleuths who will all have their own suspects and we will have to rise above their views…”


“…because we are professional sleuths…”


“yes, and we will have to get it right, first time, and hope they are all wrong.”


“This could get a bit tricky, diplomatically,” said Knowles furrowing his brow, “so I might struggle to reign myself in.” He tried to remember the counsellor’s words of advice – count to ten – or was it a hundred – before even formulating your response. Don’t show your impatience and remember to smile at all times.


The Morgan hurtled along the increasingly wet road towards the “Welcome to Little Flixton – Please drive carefully” sign. The 30 sign was a blur as Barnes headed towards the station terminus where Little Toby was waiting in a siding so as to keep his guilty secret away from prying eyes.


“Who organised this murder/mystery, Sergeant Barnes?”


“It was the Frisby Waterless and District Round Table, sir, raising funds to buy some more trees for the National Forest.”


“That King Arthur legend has a lot to answer for; those people all think they’re knights in shining armour going around doing good deeds, slaying the dragons of modern life, and protecting people from the evils of our society.”


“On a voluntary basis…”


“That’s correct, volunteer knights rescuing damsels in distress.”


“Saplings that need a good home and proper organisation. Trees that need to be placed on the straight and narrow.”


“Indeed Sergeant Barnes; I think that’s the train over there. I think you can slow down now…wait a second, I recognise that person over there – what’s she doing here?”

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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