Excerpt from the book 40 Humourous British Traditions. Is British humour your cup of tea? Britain has many well documented, yet strange traditions. This book describes 40 more traditions in a similar vein, all of which are less well known. Get ready for interesting characters, thought-provoking ideas, and strange events – all of which are fiction!
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Brenda Spooner went on to win the contest a further six times in a row and increased her score each year, culminating with a 14 in 1732, when Jessica responded with unadulterated bliss to Spooner’s impersonations, followed her out of the tent, and refused to return. This led to a new rule whereby the previous year’s winner always goes last in the contest.
To this day Jessica’s descendants judge the contest. The latest judge is Desmond the duck, who has been presiding duck since 2007 and is very hard to please. The highest score during Desmond’s time has been three in 2009 when Wayne Windsor was the winner. Windsor’s previous winning score had been 15 in 2003 when Patrick the duck was judging.
There haven’t been many injuries throughout the contest’s history. The worst was in 1962 when Roger Parfitt became so exasperated with the lack of effect his impersonation was having on Sylvia the duck that he started shouting “orange sauce you stupid duck.” Sylvia walked across and fixed Parfitt with a steely glare – she then flew at his groin and as he protected himself switched her attack to his ears and eyes causing several lacerations. Parfitt was taken to hospital where he had to have a tetanus jab and was then told he had been banned from the contest for 15 years for judging abuse.
Julian Worker Fiction Writing 