Goat Parva Murders – 11

This excerpt is from the book entitled The Goat Parva Murders an English Murder Mystery book set in the countryside, starring two policemen who have been working together for a few years and get along really well. There’s lots of dialogue and banter with some humour thrown in amongst the murders and suspects.


“I’m fair to middling,” said Knowles. “Have you seen Carly around, Carly Waferr?”

“She was in earlier complaining about her new shoes and bragging about finding poor Clem Shapiro’s body near Danica’s place.”

“She’s wearing new shoes – did you find out where she got them from?”

“From a charity shop probably knowing Carly – they looked like men’s too with a few scratches on them.”

“Any teeth marks?” Barnes tried to ask this question with a straight face, but failed miserably.

“I didn’t look that closely…I am sorry I don’t know your name?”

“DS Rod Barnes and I work for the boss here.”

“Well DS Rod I don’t normally look for teeth marks on any part of a person’s anatomy or clothing – seeing someone’s shoes from behind a counter is very difficult especially if you don’t want them to notice.”

“You noticed the scratches though.”

“Yes, but they were deep and ran parallel down the side of the shoe – I noticed when Carly was leaving – I assumed she’d scratched them in the woods looking for fungi or whatever it was she was seeking.”

“Thank you, Brenda – that’s interesting information you have there.”

“I should get back,” said Mrs Jargoy, pointing behind herself, “I trust you’ll be in soon for your nicotine patches, Inspector?”

“I will yes,” said Knowles uncomfortably. “Anyway, I think I see Carly so we should be off.”

“What nicotine patches,” asked Barnes when they were out of earshot, “you smoke fags?”

“I used to wear them but they didn’t match my skin tone, so I went back to the ciggies, but I have to try again to use those patches.”

“Where did you see Carly?”

“I didn’t – I just wanted to get away from that desperate woman.”

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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