Tomcat Tompkins – 51

This novel is something a little different for me. It is a satire set in the UK at the present moment. There are striking parallels between these days and the 1930s. There’s a lot of racist people around who are crawling out of the woodwork as they have been encouraged by the implications of the Brexit vote.


“Well, Ingram, are you accusing me of being a car thief, just because you know I drive a similar car to one stolen yesterday by persons unknown?”

“No, he’s not,” said Spiffy Wiffy, “but it’s a coincidence we can’t ignore, Tomcat, so if you know anything or hear anything that might interest your friends at Scotland Yard, please contact me.”

“I will,” said Tompkins deciding to tone down his mock foray into anger, “and with that I will bid you adieu and good luck following our foreign friend, Inspector Ingram.”

Tompkins left the room, even shutting the door of the outer office without scaring Tiffany. He was on his way to see Miss Scarlett and hear how Stalky Stark met his end.


“Tomcat, daaaaarling,” said Miss Scarlett, rising from her seat at a corner table in the restaurant. She gave him a hug and, as usual, was most impressed at his bulging chest muscles, strong shoulders, and boulder-sized biceps. 5ft 6 inches tall she wore a mustard-coloured hat, green scarf, white dress, black shoes, and peacock broach.

“Woof,” said Tompkins, “that felt wonderful, Miss Scarlett. Can we talk freely here, won’t we be overheard?”

“I’ve booked all the tables around us for an hour, so we will be fine for 60 minutes, starting now. I’ll just give the waiter an extra big tip although the way he regards me, I think he wants to give me his big tip, but I am hors de combat after last night with Stalky.”

“Why what happened, he didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, but he was rough, and he tried to bite me at one point, but I was throttling him, so I suppose it should be no surprise.”

Miss Scarlett ordered her starter and a bottle of red wine for them to share. Tompkins ordered a main course as an appetizer.

“So, what happened last night, Miss S, when did you arrive and how long was it before Stalky talked?”



Published by Julian Worker

I was born in Leicester. I attended school in Yorkshire and University in Liverpool. I have been to 93 countries and territories including The Balkans and Armenia in 2015, France and Slovakia in 2016, and some of the Greek Islands in 2017. My sense of humour is distilled from The Goons, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. I love being creative in my writing and I love writing about travelling. My next books are a travel book about Greece and a novel inspired by Brexit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: