Satire – Tomcat Tompkins – 118

“How long will it take them, Cliffy, do you reckon?”

        “About 90 minutes, perhaps less, depending on the traffic. We should head in again. I feel the police might be here before them, as Stalky’s place is probably the closest house to that gate, at least in straight line distance. That’s assuming Plod has spare men to investigate this strange occurrence in the countryside.”

        “There’s always that, but I wonder if the police are following Alex and Ralphie and not the opposition. Do you think the GOM would know?”

        “The GOM is MI6, so external facing, Filly, this lot would come under the wing of MI5. The GOM could find out, but he might not because we don’t know who the opposition is. Anyway, we should head in again and let’s go through the woods again. Noddy and Tiffkins were sniffing around the track and the gate, so let’s be careful as we go in. In fact, let’s not use the gate at all. There’s a stile 100 yards up the road. And let’s walk around the pond too, just to throw them off the scent.”

        “Are you OK, Clifford, you’re not normally this circumspect, is age mellowing you?”

        “Well, you’re here, Filly, so I have to tone down my natural cavalier instincts somewhat,” suggested Tompkins rather unconvincingly, “plus there’s Daisy to think about, we have to rescue her from her captors.”

        “We do, Clifford, we do, so let’s get on and do it,” said Filly, “and I think we can skip the pond detour too, let’s go over the stile and see what comes our way.”

        “Right, let’s go. I think another thing is that I can’t believe I am up against so many people I thought were my pals. What on earth was I doing, not noticing how they were behaving? How could I misjudge so many so-called friends?”

        Filly hugged her husband – “Yes, that must be difficult to understand, but I wouldn’t blame yourself – you’re a very trusting person and people have been conning you en masse.”

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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