Satire – Tomcat Tompkins – 117

“Yes, but we should remember we need to rescue Daisy at some point,” replied Tompkins nodding his head to emphasize his point.

        “OK, this time we collect two more, but after putting them on the gate return to the village with the sole intention of rescuing Daisy.”   

        “Do you think we should phone the police when we’ve added two more?” asked Tompkins.

        “Yes, we should, Clifford, because then at least those six will in custody, as we can say they’re all members of the Big Whopper Gang or whatever the name is or was.”

        “Right, good idea, Filly, I say this is fun, some sport for a change, what do you say?”

        “Well, it’s OK at the moment, because they haven’t caught us, but we should get on Cliffy and rescue Daisy from these buffoons.”

        Tompkins smiled and wondered who the leader of the opposition would be, whether the character they’d referred to as ‘Big Nose’ would materialise or whether this would be another myth, like Stalin 2.0.

        Filly’s shrill “Come on, Clifford” had woken him from his senses and he got behind the wheel to gather two more of his opponents.


        Half an hour later, with both Tiffkins and Noddy Houghton-Smythe draped over it, the gate was becoming rather crowded. The six men were still unconscious and would stay that way for some time, given the fearsome slap that Tompkins had applied to their noggins.

        Tompkins drove back to the village and parked at the pub again. Filly had changed the chip in her phone for one she used abroad and had called the police to give them an anonymous tip-off about the gate and its contents. She then checked her email and found one from Smithers, saying Ralphie and Alex had drawn a blank in London and were coming to help Tompkins and Filly. Ralphie and Alex thought they were being followed.

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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