An extract from Different Planet – a story about 5 days in an English office available here on Amazon.

Inside, Tommy Bunn was undressing with great frustration in the gent’s toilets. He took off his biking gear and put on the jeans and shirt that he’d brought in his rucksack. He stomped out of the room and headed up to his desk. Bunn was 20 years old and had a thin nose that hovered over a small mouth. His hair was very straight and he almost had a mullet haircut at the back.

 

“Aye, it’s Bommy Tunn,” said Ben Dobbs, “you should do all your buttons up son, we don’t want Alison fainting at the sight of your manly chest.” Dobbs rubbed his ample nose and shook his head at the state of Bunn’s undress.

 

“Oh, bloody hell,” said Bunn, “how did that happen?”

 

“You were in a hurry, Tommy, more haste less speed,” said John Desmond another colleague of Bunn’s like Dobbs. Desmond had short blond hair and blue eyes. He smiled at Bunn who failed to see the joke.

 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” said Bunn glaring at Desmond, “haste and speed are the same thing.” He unbuttoned his shirt.

 

“Don’t stop there,” said Alison Greaves, who was passing by with an armful of mail. “You ride that moped, don’t you, I’ve never been on a moped, do you have a spare helmet?”

 

“I don’t, no,” said Bunn in a most exasperated manner as he fiddled with his buttons.

 

“Oh well, I’ll have to find someone with more charm then, won’t I?” said Alison and headed off to her cubicle.

 

“What are you like?” said Dobbs,” she’s looking for a bit of excitement, find another helmet and you’ll be in there.” Dobbs tapped a meaty finger to his temple.

 

“She’s old enough to be my granny,” said Bunn, “besides I’m off to Donnington this weekend and I’m taking my own tent, so I’ll score when I’m there.”

 

“Everyone has to start somewhere, Bunny,” said Desmond, “and just because you have a tent doesn’t mean you’re certain to get laid this weekend. Everyone will have a tent.”

 

“Not like mine they won’t,” said Bunn, “mine is bright yellow.”

 

“The colour of urine?” said Dobbs

 

“No, the colour of sunshine and daffodils.”

 

“And jaundice,” said Desmond,” which is an appropriate colour for you given your view of the world.”

 

“That’s not funny,” said Bunn curling his lip at Desmond.

 

“Calm down Tommy, what’s bugging you today, you’re in an even worse mood than usual?”

 

“I failed my driving test again, yesterday afternoon.”

 

“What happened this time?”

 

“The instructor said I was too impatient at junctions.”

 

“You were angry about something?” said Dobbs.