Frisby Waterless Murders – 25

This excerpt is from the book entitled The Frisby Waterless Murders, an English Murrder Mystery book set in the countryside, starring two policemen who have been working together for a few years and get along really well. There’s lots of dialogue and banter with some humour thrown in amongst the murders and suspects.


“I am not sure. Those Smedley children were putting their pens in their mouths and blowing through them as though they were blowpipes. Their father told them to stop it as it might “give people ideas”, whatever that meant. When the smoke came in Daisy and I went to the same end of the carriage as The Smedleys, but they didn’t seem that keen to chat with us. About two minutes after the carriage cleared Madge placed her head on to the table and Doris screamed on cue, but then we found the Major had really been killed and Madge had to come back to life, like Lazarus rising from the dead.”


“When you went to the end of the carriage to avoid the smoke, who else besides the Smedleys was with you?”


“The two people sitting across from me, The Johnsons – Wallace and Gromit I think they were called…”


“By Gromit do you mean Betty Johnson?” interrupted Knowles.


“…I do, she never said a word to me the whole time she was on the train; she might as well as have been made from plastocene. I think she spoke to Daisy, who was sitting opposite her, but not that much.”


“Yes, and who else was there?”


“Well, Johnny – John Davis, and Ellie Hammond were and I thought Desmond was briefly but then he disappeared again to find Marie and neither of them came back. When we came back to our seats about five minutes later they weren’t there, so they must have gone to the kitchen at the other end of the carriage.”


Knowles made a note of the various comings and goings and thought that he need detain Mr Ricketts no longer.


“Well, I think that’s all for now, Simon, so I would like to thank you for your time. Did you like my acting skills?”


“What acting skills?”


“My impression of a bluff policeman? I am a nice person and I was trying to be the opposite to see whether you would notice?”  


“Yes, Inspector Knowles, it was completely convincing – I wouldn’t have known you weren’t being yourself. A great talent has been lost to the theatre.”


“Well, I don’t know about that Mr Ricketts, but I do thank you for your time and, if we have any further questions, do we have your address and phone number?”


Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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