The International Union of Toastmakers (IUT)

This excerpt is from the book entitled 40 Strange Groups. Little is known about these organisations, hence the shortness of the book and the low price of less than a dollar. But, if you twisted my arm, I would admit that I’d make them up.


For the annual $50 membership fee, members receive a monthly recipe booklet containing suggestions for meals containing at least two rounds of toast. There are product evaluations for new toasting tools and recommendations for toasting any new brands of bread that have recently come on to the market. Member’s tips are an important part of the website and members can add the tips themselves as long as they don’t exceed 250 words in length.


There’s also a popular “I can remember” section where older members can reminisce about the good old days when all toast had to be produced in front of an open fire and would smell of coal smoke. Occasionally there are talks such as the one entitled “Interesting uses for a former toasting fork”, given by a member called Bill Wedderburn. In this hour-long presentation, Wedderburn gave members food for thought.


Toasting forks could be used to allow woodpeckers to perch on trees so as find their food in more comfort. Forks could be used to play a new indoor sport, similar to darts, where the forks were thrown at a dartboard and both prongs of the fork would count towards the throwers score, if they landed in the scoring part of the board. Toasting Forks could also be used to play a miniature form of indoor croquet and to inspect individual strands of spaghetti.    


Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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