Frisby Waterless Murders – 3

This excerpt is from the book entitled The Frisby Waterless Murders, an English Murrder Mystery book set in the countryside, starring two policemen who have been working together for a few years and get along really well. There’s lots of dialogue and banter with some humour thrown in amongst the murders and suspects.


“That King Arthur legend has a lot to answer for; those people all think they’re knights in shining armour going around doing good deeds, slaying the dragons of modern life, and protecting people from the evils of our society.”

“On a voluntary basis…”

“That’s correct, volunteer knights rescuing damsels in distress.”

“Saplings that need a good home and proper organisation. Trees that need to be placed on the straight and narrow.”

“Indeed Sergeant Barnes; I think that’s the train over there. I think you can slow down now…wait a second, I recognise that person over there – what’s she doing here?”

A late middle-aged woman carrying a large basket was sitting on the bench on the station platform looking wistfully at the train.

“Carly Waferr? Is she a member of the Round Table?”

“She’s not their Queen Guinevere figure is she sir?”

“I hope not for their sake – unless Sir Lancelot is blind of course – anyway let me out here and I will go and speak to her; I will see you at the scene of the crime in a few minutes.”

Knowles ambled over towards Carly Waferr who physically recoiled from him as he approached. She gripped her basket tightly.

“Carly Waferr, what are you doing here? Were you the one who was going to be murdered?”

“No, Inspector, this is nothing to do with me, I was just doing the catering for the trip.”

“Magic mushroom salad?”

“Mushroom soup, actually, then a carrot, bean, and celery salad with condiments followed by quiche a la Goat Parva and vol-au-vents, rounded off with an organic blueberry ice cream and decaffeinated tisanes and coffee.”

“This is a weight watchers trip, then?”

“Healthy eating in The Shires is my motto, Inspector.”

“All grown in your own garden and the local woods I presume?”

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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