Gemma the cat – Agony Aunt 2

Gemma and Freddie – newspaper column extract

Dear Gemma:

My name is Percy and I am a seven-year old dachshund from Burnaby. My owners are going on holiday to Mexico for one week and then moving house. Do you have any advice?

Gemma says: Yes, Percy, I hope Mexi Cow is bigger than the cows we have seen in a book of animals. When most of the furniture in the gaol disappeared, the gaolers were still around, so we weren’t sure what was going on. There were lots of boxes around, most of which were empty. We were getting nervous, as empty boxes mean trips to the vet, needles, weighing scales and large dogs being nosey. All the books disappeared too, including Das Kapital and the Communist Manifesto. We thought they were trying to “dumb us down” and prevent us becoming educated, as “knowledge is purrrrower”, but they didn’t realise that intelligent cats can never be surpurrrrrressed by those jackboot capitalist tactics. Do you know who Lenin was? Was he a cat? Freddie thinks he might have been in a pop group called the Beatles?
Comrade Gemma and Brother Fred

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: