This excerpt is from a collection of funny stories

Compassion     n          The feeling of extreme pity that you have for other people who simply don’t realise that you know the right direction to go in and they don’t.

Intelligence     n          The more advanced the microprocessor becomes in your laptop, the more it takes over from you and the more powerless you feel.

Discrete           v          To say bad things in private about Greek islands in the Mediterranean.

Coffer             n         Someone who coughs with extreme surprise when they open their wallet to find that there is far more money in there than they realised.

Incense            v         To become irate when the smoke from burning sticks gets into your eyes, nose, and throat