Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.

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The contest comprised two elements – the first was the 10K race and the second was the 5K team time trial both held on the same day. The first 10K race was a mess as the mass start resulted in a crash at the bottom of the first hill when youthful exuberance won out over level-headedness. The race was restarted at the bottom of the steepest hill and this led to an orderly race that was won by the Atkins sisters, but only by 5 seconds from the Smith triplets. Teams then went in reverse order in the team trial starting a minute apart. The Smith triplets fixed a spoiler to the back of their toboggan which chewed up the tracks that their toboggan made so that the Atkins sisters, who went last, couldn’t gain from the hard work of others by slipstreaming using already created tracks.

This spoiler had the desired effect and the Atkins sisters slewed off course twice finishing 8 seconds behind the triplets, who were declared the winners. However, the sisters lodged a complaint claiming the spoiler on the triplets’ toboggan was illegal and unsporting. The judges upheld the complaint based on the fact that the triplets had modified their toboggan between the races, so as to affect the performance of another team. The Chief Judge Ebenezer Palin said “We have to ensure that teams don’t interfere with the other teams as this could be dangerous; they could throw snowballs or ice to upset them or even place wood across their path, so causing the toboggan to flip over. No interference of any kind – this is a statement for both now and the future.”