Mad Paddling – 6

Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.


The final event of the regatta is the Blue Riband event – the two mile individual kayak race using a table tennis bat. Jim Erikson has won this race 4 times, the last occasion was in 2009 when he recorded the quickest ever time of 2 hours 23 minutes and 12 seconds. After this race Erikson swore he would never race again as it was too difficult – “I changed from the pen hold grip to the Chinese grip this year, at least at first, but I caught the bat on something and lost control of it, so I had to dive in and find it again. By this time I was well behind the other 72 competitors, so I reverted to the pen hold grip and made my way through the field, though by the end the webbing on my hand was split and my fingers were sore.”

Published by Julian Worker

I was born in Leicester. I attended school in Yorkshire and University in Liverpool. I have been to 93 countries and territories including The Balkans and Armenia in 2015, France and Slovakia in 2016, and some of the Greek Islands in 2017. My sense of humour is distilled from The Goons, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. I love being creative in my writing and I love writing about travelling. My next books are a travel book about Greece and a novel inspired by Brexit.

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