Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.

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The individual events also take place over one and two miles but people don’t race against each other, so the fastest individual time in each race wins the prize. The one mile straight race has been won by Manbir Grewal from Mumbai the most often, with 6 wins between 2004 and the present day. His time of 1 minute and 13.5 seconds in 2007 is the course record. Grewal also holds the record for the 2 mile race, jointly with Basil Wu from Taiwan, of 2 minutes and 10 seconds, which they both set in 2009 the only time there’s been a dead heat. Wu’s speciality was to race downhill while doing a handstand in a Superman pose, which reduced air resistance. This worked well until 2012 when he fell off on a steep bend and broke both arms.