Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.


The person who delivers the bowl is known as the bowler and he must deliver the bowl from the popping crease without having the whole of his front foot across the line; if the front foot is wholly across the line the umpire shouts “No Bowl” and the bowl is intercepted on its path by the Third Man, who isn’t an umpire.

The idea is that each team tries to get as many of its bowls as possible closer to the stumps than any of their opponents’ bowls. Bowls that touch the stumps are called ‘touchers’ and are marked with a white chalk tick by another official called the Tickitkeeper. Touchers only count towards the score if each team has a bowl or bowls that are equidistant from the stumps in the opinion of the umpires at the end of each end.