Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.


Hayes lay down on the ice to rest as Zigeuner fished. Soon Schnabel’s lip stopped throbbing and he cut a hole in the ice and fished from a prone position. After 10 more minutes Hayes opened his pack, found his saw, and cut a hole in the ice. He opened the sauce and spread it over the cold water before starting to fish. Twenty minutes later Hayes felt a tug on his line and pulled out a small fish; he woke up the Fish Judge and had it verified. He then put on his skis and headed back to the start; unfortunately he skied over Parent’s hole and tripped over hurting his leg. At this moment Zigeuner and Schnabel both pulled out fishes and having had them certified as real by the Fish Judge they too headed back to the start.