Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.
Al Zigeuner came next with Edward Braepond draped over his shoulder. Braepond had skied over a bare rock and fallen cracking his elbow so that he couldn’t fish or ski. Braepond was placed in front of the fire alongside Parent and they both waited for the dogsled to take them back to Flin Flon.
Zigeuner unpacked his saw and rod and started to cut a hole in the ice. As he did so the final skier, Elmer Hayes, stumbled on to the ice. At the start of the race Hayes had realized that he’d forgotten his secret ingredient for fishing and went to the corner store to buy some Tartare Sauce. Unfortunately, his skis wouldn’t fit through the door and as he didn’t want to take them off he had to mime his intended purchase through the window. After twenty minutes the shop assistant picked up the right item and brought it outside; Hayes paid her a dollar for her troubles and set off for the lake.