The Anti-Pope Games, Avignon – France – 2

Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.

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The Papal Bullfighting contest has taken place since 1523 and is the oldest sport to feature at the Games. The bullfighters, dressed in a monk’s outfit similar to that of Martin Luther, have to place a copy of the 95 Theses, written by Luther, over each of the horns of the bull and also knock off the Papal Tiara, a jewelled three-tiered crown used at papal coronations from 1305 through 1963, that is fixed to the head of the bull.  The person who performs these tasks in the quickest time wins the prize of a set of steak knives that are embedded in a wooden block shaped like a Papal Mitre. This is a toned down version of the original first prize, which was a blood-coloured Papal Mitre stabbed through with a dagger

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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