Excerpt from the book Sports the Olympics Forgot This book describes 40 sports that ought to be played but aren’t, because I made them up.

The “Vault over the Wall” has a broader run-up area allowing more than one person to vault at the same time. The reason for this is that not that many people make it over the wall due to the fragility of their vaulting equipment and because of a lack of adequate training in the necessary techniques. Shovels, downspouts, and large branches have all been used as potential vaulting poles but a lack of elasticity in the implements usually means they either snap into bits or fail to hold the weight of the vaulter sufficiently for them to make it over the wall.

Indeed some nasty impalement injuries are treated by the 30 medical staff every year. The record distance is 34 feet 4 inches by John McDougall in 1972; he was sixteen at the time and used a bamboo pole that he’d found at the local garden centre.