Plum Brandy – 5

The slivovitz was getting to me and eating the bread roll hadn’t helped. I had to think of one more score. Suddenly, it felt really warm in the garden, the more distant trees and flowers seemed to be out of focus, and the birds’ singing seemed further away. I couldn’t think of very much at all so I decided to be creative. I wrote on the paper: England 3 Bulgaria 1, Wembley, 1953. He looked at me suspiciously and stroked his chin, as though he couldn’t make up his mind whether I was telling the truth. He drank his slivovitz and reached down under the table. He brought out a second bottle, again with no label, and laughed at my obvious discomfort at seeing another bottle of strong alcohol.

I covered my head, I couldn’t drink five more glasses of slivovitz; I couldn’t drink one more! I held up my hands to indicate my surrender. I got to my feet slowly and shook his hand. I then wrote: Slivovitz 5 Julian 0, Pernik, 1994 on the paper. We both laughed out loud and had a final slivovitz to celebrate this result!

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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