Buddhists for Peaceful Furniture Assembly

Extract from the book – 40 Secret Groups

Buddhists belonging to this group can be phoned by purchasers of Ikea flat-pack furniture and asked to come along to the purchasers home to provide a peaceful environment when the furniture is being put together. BPIFA have discovered a more harmonious environment promotes more peaceful furniture assemblage and encourage IKEA customers to use their services.

The BPIFA even bring along spare Allen keys just in case there aren’t enough provided. One satisfied customer, George T Trent of Oklahoma said, “Without those Buddhists, why that furniture might still be unmade to this day – those Oms really calmed me down, especially when I felt like shooting the instructions with ma shotgun. Those Buddhists really made things easy. They were non-threatening in every way, but I am not sure I could wear orange all day.”  

One of the Buddhists, Brother Rick, shares his views on this matter: “We all know how frustrating it can be to put furniture together – it’s a real test of how strong a relationship is; a bit like hanging wallpaper together was a real test for our parents. We offer our services to provide a more calming experience for people when they’re all tense and worried about putting together a chair correctly.”

 

Published by Julian Worker

Julian was born in Leicester, attended school in Yorkshire, and university in Liverpool. He has been to 94 countries and territories and intends to make the 100 when travel is easier. He writes travel books, murder / mysteries and absurd fiction. His sense of humour is distilled from The Marx Brothers, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and Midsomer Murders. His latest book is about a Buddhist cat who tries to help his squirrel friend fly further from a children's slide.

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